Over the last year, I have had a tiny thought. It has grown bigger and bigger. It has grown inside me. After more than ten years in the same job and around twenty years in the workplace, I realised that I am halfway through my working life. So maybe I need to pause and ask myself: am I still in the right place? Why am I doing what I am doing, and for whom? Is it relevant to me, to others and to God? Is this still the area in which God wants to use me? Am I using my full potential to flourish? What nurtures my soul? How can I truly live my relationship with the Lord?

Although I was not considering leaving my current job, I was open to change or transformation — perhaps a fresh way forward into an area I have not yet explored. 

I am a pioneer, a practitioner of ideas, a problem solver, a helper, a giver and a caretaker. I tend to be addicted to action and events and to be involved in lots of processes and projects at the same time, but I am also able to realise and finish most of them well (2 Tim. 4:7). I am enthusiastic and love encouraging people, including them and seeing them flourish, knowing that together we can achieve it. I hate conflict, but I love a challenge. To avoid disharmony, I prefer to work independently; so, I must admit that I am not much of a team player.

Having worked in international teams all my life, I love the complexity that comes with it. I would miss something if I only worked with local people. At the same time, when I reflected on this, I realised that I had lost touch with the grassroots of my home area. 

How can I embrace change? In autumn, I realised that I had to look for a new job. 

One day, we visited a church in the area. On the ground, I saw a stone intarsia that struck me: it was a compass rose, also known as a wind rose. ‘True, I could do almost anything now; I just need to decide on a direction and start walking.’ I had the feeling that this image would be important to me and accompany me on my journey over the next few months.

Before Christmas, I took a short break in northern Poland to reflect, pray and seek God in silence and solitude. I knew I had to be close to the sea, with nothing in front of me but sky, water and air (and perhaps clouds). Escaping my home country of Austria (and the mountains that, although ‘awfully’ beautiful, can block your view), I endured the long journey to Sopot near Gdańsk. This gave me the perfect opportunity to look out of the window, read and knit (I finished a large scarf during this week) and sleep. It was simply a way to relax and calm down, to ground myself during this time of turmoil.

When I entered my one-room apartment in the late hours of the evening, there she was again… another wind rose on the ground. I was deeply touched, knowing that the week would continue to be special and that God would guide me step by step. (I saw more wind roses during that week!)

Being alone (without my husband) gave me time to focus on myself, without being selfish. Having always been involved in the lives and projects of others, I had kind of ‘lost myself’ on the way. How does God see me? Simply as Verena, as a woman, a wife, a daughter and a sister, rather than as a ministry leader, assistant, organiser or manager? 

Unable to do ‘nothing’, I opened my notebook that night. With my pen in hand, I started planning the next four days. Since words, scripture, writing, art and images speak very loudly to me, I decided to work with the following method: in the morning, I wanted to take time for intensive study, reading and writing, followed by long walks in the afternoon. From the books I had brought along, I would read a chapter for one hour each, alternating three books each day. The first part would be one or two chapters of a New Testament letter. The second part was a creative (theo)poetic text (Advent Calendar style) and the third was a personal topic that I wanted to explore further. 

While reading, I wrote down words that stood out to me, words that triggered, encouraged or challenged me. After rereading these words at the end of each hour, I selected and circled only a few that spoke more directly to my heart. Then I took a break, enjoyed a cup of good tea or fruit and opened the window before starting the next book.

After these three study sessions, I revisited all my highlighted words and created a new, very personal text by letting these words (and a few additional filler words) speak for themselves. Remarkably, each day was transcribed with a certain theme; I had not expected that. However, it was like a red thread that meandered through all the texts, even when the contents appeared to have nothing in common at first. 

Then I packed my bag and left the flat for a longer walk to find somewhere to eat. Without a plan, I floated along, walking down new streets. I then sat down somewhere to order a great lunch. I enjoyed the food in silence, taking in my surroundings rather than checking my mobile phone[1]. When out in nature or in cities, I tried to capture the ‘theme of the day’ that I had just learnt about visually. I did this by taking pictures and by immersing myself in the written words, inhaling and exhaling them with all my senses. What I had just read and written came to life. Every day, I had a “wow” moment, because God had prepared something common yet capacious for me, and I saw more and more clearly what he wanted to show me. It was very personal and very encouraging how the Lord that spoke to my heart.

Taking long walks without a destination in mind was part of my journey. I stopped and watched the crows and seagulls, and an extraordinary novel came to mind. I wrote down some brief bullet points and elaborated on them later for a short story competition. I also started a list in my notebook of things I love to do, inspired by a text by the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke who asked, “What is your compulsion, your urge, your impulse?” I also started writing in my diary again, something I used to do in my teens and twenties, but not anymore as it is very time consuming.

My resume: I can totally recommend seeking God in silence, taking long walks and journeys with your feet and a pen in your hand. It helps to refocus and embrace what is ahead of you. “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jer 29:11)

By Verena Schnitzhofer, who will start her new position with the Austrian Evangelical Alliance in May 2026

[1] Actually, this ‘disruptive’ device was in flight mode all day. I can highly recommend it! I only used it to take photos and record memories. I downloaded a map of the area via the ‘Here’ app. In the evenings, I turned it on briefly to read a few messages and let my family know that I was fine. And how alive I was!